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How ya doin? I’m finer than a frog hair split three ways!

The name’s Varla, and I am here to answer your queer sex and relationship questions.

I am not a doctor or a relationship expert. Just a kinky ol’ polyamorous, pansexual, lesbian entrepreneur who has been around the block and is more experienced in the art of makin’ whoopi and wooing potential lovers than most other people I know.

No question is too weird or kinky for this ol’ gal — and let me know if you would like to remain anonymous.

Email all your sex and relationship questions to my business email at I will respond to all of them and publish a few each month here in The Real MainStream!

Varla, best-known as the crass and gravelly hostess for the IC Kings, is also a health care provider, athlete, wife, and community organizer in real life. but prefers to remain anonymous. And so can you! Be sure and submit even your boldest questions to Varla no later than Aug. 28 for our coming issue. Nothing is too much.


You can also learn more about Varla on Facebook at Varla’s Artisian Tampons, and Twitter @VarlasTampons, where you’ll find her joke of the week.

(photo credit: Sarah Tate)